The Journey: Decisions to be Made
There is a great many of challenges and struggles in our lives that we all encounter. I'm here to remind you that you are not alone and we must always move onward.
What is the hardest part of being an adult? Some might say the bills (those do suck) or the long working hours. Others might claim the process of learning all these new things like renting and debt and easements. Another common belief is that it is life changing milestones you hit, like getting married or losing a loved one.
Of course, I have my opinion just as you have yours. We all lead different lives and have different lived experiences. We provide our answer to this question based on our individual perspectives. Thus making it nearly impossible to say that there is one thing we all agree on. These issues are also highly complex, and interact with one another. This only adds to the confusion as similar struggles can fall under different categories depending on who is viewing it. However, from reddit boards to blogs like this one, people do generally have a consensus.
The independence that you receive in your adulthood is greatly coveted and necessary to become a functional member of society. On the other hand, it is almost unanimously agreed to be one of the most challenging aspects. The freedom we get to try new things, make mistakes, and set our own rules allows us the space we need to grow. The problem in lies with the loneliness and trepidation that follows us as we do so. The other ‘stuff’ - like your financial responsibilities and your contractual obligations - are difficult. It is the fact you feel as though you are doing it by yourself that makes it infamously so.
There is also no one there to stop you from making horrible calls, or to warn you to set your alarm. There is no more designated schedules that essentially make your friends for you and help structure your day. Essentially, there are no more safety nets and lane bumpers. You also assume more and more responsibility as you age in preparedness for your independence, and face external pressure to succeed and be the best you at all times. The solitude, preparation, and pressure can make it even harder to move onward or even talk about your journey.
The isolation we feel is normal. If you want to improve yourself by managing your money better, you have to make the budget (or hire someone, but you’re still making a choice). If you want to work on your mental health and grow as a person, you have to do the work. If you want to continue growing in your career, you have to reach out and make those connections. Every decision, from what you drink in the morning to which flaws you desperately need resolved, is made and enacted by you.
It is an incredible amount of responsibility and it can get very lonely. There is so much expected, without much provision or knowledge being provided. You have to be wise and considerate but true to yourself. You have so many things you have to get done, and you also have to make the time to follow what makes you happy. Bearing the weight of being in charge of yourself and your life is intimidating, but also incredibly rewarding. It is the hardest part, but also the best part.
The most important thing to remember is that even though it feels like you are on your own- you are not. You can and will receive help from those who support you. They will likely offer up some advice or a listening ear and will be there when things do not go as hoped. It should not be understated how important it is to have a good support system. Yes, you have to make all these choices and you have to live with the consequences, but you aren’t without reassurance or encouragement. It can be terrifying to open up and say that you need someone. Not someone to have all the answers and call the shots, but someone to simply lean on.
You will likely find that as you get older, the harder it can be to be vulnerable. The irony there is that you must be more open the older you get. We feel more alone, but need help more than ever. The kicker? All you have to do is ask if you need help. You are the only one individual who should have any power over your life and your story. Making these decisions day after day gets to be exhausting, and feeling alone while making them gets to be disheartening. However, when you reach out and are honest about how you feel or what your struggling with, you will get help.
It can be hard to find the motivation or courage to reach out. It is so important you do though, because you are so important. Your life, with all its challenges, is so important and so spectacular. There is also an infinite amount of wonder and beauty in our world for you to admire. An act of a mothers love, trees older than your family line, two strangers walking in the rain, a rose in a garden. There is so much in your lifetime for you to see, touch, feel. You deserve those experiences because you fought for them.
Every time you exercise control in your life, you are also choosing yourself. You are choosing to be happy. You are choosing to see the light and love you already have. You are choosing hope for the light and love you have yet to meet.
The way you make yourself feel, the way your life makes you feel, is up to you. You aren’t alone, and you have so many things to do. Make the choice to embrace all the tough parts of life. Make the choice see the beauty in the world. Make the choice to see the beauty in yourself.